Last modified: Saturday, January 6, 2001 6:20 PM

Consider an unbaked sculpture placed atop a precarious perch for a photo. Though the odds are logically 50-50, in this case, the result of a tumble will always be "heads" (down & flattened).



Ah yes, Ms. Underwire...it's true. And were you aware that the simple act of watching a freshly poured mold will actually retard the chemical reaction which causes the mixture to cure? It's absolutely, undeniably true.

And furthermore, did you know that the elastic in undergarments restricts the flow of oxygenated blood to the brain?

Or that tiny creatures, called "Wastebrats" live within the wax ring of your commode and venture forth in the darkness to lick the moisture off your lips while you sleep?

So you see Ms. Underwire? There is much of this world that you do not know.

This character is an attempt to model Russian Colonel/General Ourumov of the film "Goldeneye". (The James Bond Movie website) I think I captured some of his obvious features, and about 50% of the time I think it actually looks like him. The other 50% of the time it's a different story, which points to an odd factoid: Capturing a facial likeness is an iffy thing. For me at least. I can think of a lot of excuses, but can't think of a useful explanation for this; it's just the way it is.

I went to a mall today and like a good husband, followed my wife through the sea of outfits-- careful not to make her feel like I was rushing her, and careful not to begin snoring loudly either. I don't know why I didn't think of this before, but I began to inspect the awesome variety of jackets-- all the different styles of collars, the liners, the cut of the pattern required to produce lapels-- it was enlightening. Since collars are so friggin' difficult to make, it makes sense to spend a little time with your eyes open to see for the first time. Da.

01/11/99- I made some lapel decorations, but haven't attached them yet because I'm not sure if I want to remake the jacket. The collar doesn't look right, and there's an off chance that I might do better the second time around. I don't have a clue about Russian/USSR period insignias and don't feel inclined to do the research. This is a strictly Hollywood approach, and I'll be satisfied if he ends up looking the part of a spy show baddie. The first step is to make him look less German.

I don't make enough of these head sculpts to be truly "experienced", so I do dumb things. Unknowingly, I made him practically without a neck, so he looked stoop-shouldered when the head was added to the body. I couldn't tell until I made the mold & cast it... I fixed it by adding an extension to the casting.

01/12/99- I guess there's no getting away from the belt-strap-buckle pictures! I'm recycling the strap buckle, even though it's oversized. The belt buckle is new though, and uses the molded tines trick, which causes those "tire tracks" where it's worn the leather. The holster is made of formed leather, and houses the Baretta which came with the Medicom James Bond figure. It probably should be something Russian, but like I said, I ain't too fussy.

MAY I SEE YOUR PASSPORT(S)? You see Mr. Bond... I find it difficult to believe that you are a citizen of the United Kingdom, Switzerland AND The People's Republic of China.

01/15/99- Here's most of it-- there are a few missing and uncorrected things, but I'm getting bored with this one. The collar desperately needs to be ripped out and replaced with a longer one, and I think the shoulderboards are supposed to have three stars each. (Sculpting tiny stars is difficult, so I ripped these from Hasbro's Ike figure-- only 2 would fit.) The cap is a reworked version from the Ike set too. It needed a star badge too (what's with all the @#$!! stars?), so I had to sculpt that one.

Anyway... whatever rank he holds, and whatever time period he's from, he looks Russian, in a stereotypical kinda way... sort of. Must be all them stars...