HO HO HO. ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?


05/14/97- Archeologists have agreed that this unlucky specimen was subjected to some extraordinary forces while performing a routine bodily function. From his expression, it is clear that the fossilization was nearly instantaneous; the pained grimace, merely the consequence of a coarse diet. However, they have no explanation for his ghastly dismemberment and the bizarre placement of his limbs.


Austin, Texas: The image of "The Constipated Apeman" mysteriously appeared in the output of a production run at the Jimbob Flash Manufacturing Company. This "miracle" brought production to a dead stop, as shift workers crowded around, in awe of the spectacle. "Look-- he's weeping!" a few exclaimed.

Jimbob grumbled, "Get them workers back on line! We've got orders for arbitrarily twisted rivers of plastic that need to be filled ASAP!"


Last modified: Saturday, January 6, 2001 6:20 PM