Castle Schwartzenschwantz juts defiantly from the depraved bosom of the Mudderland... Within it's dank walls live a thousand tales...tales of ordinary folk...folks like you and I... festering like boils to be lanced, screaming to be told...

This one's from apartment 4-D.

Red: You have become quite bothersome, child. Had I anticipated the trouble you've caused me, I would have executed you long ago. Well, it's not too late for that.

Blackie: Look... I only want to borrow the tank. Is that too much to ask? I only need it for a few hours.

Red: That's what you said last time! Your "few hours" turned into TWO AND A HALF HOURS! And didn't you think I'd notice the COATHANGERS?

No, I've had it with you! Step daughter or not--there's only one cure for your inconsiderate ways! Understand...I'm only doing this for your own good!

As Red prepares the syringe, Blackie works free of the loose leather strap bonds. Fortunately, Red had just done her nails and hadn't done a very good job on the knots!

With a blur of motion, Blackie wrests free of her bonds and surprises her tormentor!

Blackie: This is for little Ralphie! And Hector! And baby Huey! And Tanya! And Herve! And Keisuke! And Chul Sook!

Red: Dammit... Nail broke... uhhhh...

Blackie: Move, and I'll blow a hole through you big enough to walk through...

Wulf: Ho, ho, ho! Now is that any way to greet your father?...Been fighting with your mother again have you? Tsk, tsk...Well, the keys to the Tiger are over on the dresser...You didn't hurt her did you?

Blackie: Oh, she's just unconscious. But she did break a nail...

Wulf: Darn! She's going to be impossible when she wakes up! Look, do me a favor and don't pick up any coathangers this time, okay? You know how that makes your mother crazy.

Blackie: Sure. Whatever.

Wulf: Hey, someone's at the door! I wonder who it could be?

Wulf: Why it's the Jamisons from 3-C!

Next: The Saga of the Love-sick Hellhound

Last modified: Saturday, January 6, 2001 6:20 PM